Quote

Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Paranoid
Doctor
George
Professional
Bush
Doctors
Opinion
Schizophrenic

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
Bill Maher
Image
If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
Bill Maher
Image
It could be anything. It could be Jesus and it could be the Furby and it could be the lint that lives in my navel, but it's probably not. Whatever it is, I doubt we as humans on Earth could have any perception of it while we're here. So, why give yourself a headache thinking about it. Just be a good person. That's what an ethicist is.
Bill Maher
Image
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
Image
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
Image
A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
Bill Maher
Image
I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
Bill Maher
Image
North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
Bill Maher
Image
I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
Bill Maher
Image
I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.
Bill Maher
Image
Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
Bill Maher
Image
I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
Bill Maher
Image
I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?
Bill Maher
Image
In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, 'It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.'
Bill Maher
Image
During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. And Bush responded, this debate, the last debate and the next debate.
Bill Maher
Image
Greed can overtake smart.
Bill Maher
Image
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
Image
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.
Bill Maher
Image
Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.
Bill Maher
Image
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Bill Maher