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Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Survivor
Bill
Bills
Birth

More quotes by Bill Maher

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I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.
Bill Maher
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Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham.
Bill Maher
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I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time.
Bill Maher
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The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary, because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.
Bill Maher
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The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don`t know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.
Bill Maher
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Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.
Bill Maher
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I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
Bill Maher
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When we make mistakes they call it evil
Bill Maher
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
Bill Maher
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I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.
Bill Maher
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Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.
Bill Maher
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Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
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John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.
Bill Maher
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In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
Bill Maher
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Hillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.
Bill Maher
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
Bill Maher
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher
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You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
Bill Maher
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me it would save a lot of time.
Bill Maher
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Eric Holder, our attorney general, says the Mr. Snowden will be brought to justice. Just as soon as we can find someone who can track his calls and read his emails.
Bill Maher