Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
Bill Maher
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Cases
Jackson
Numbers
Michael
Comedy
Pool
Ends
Sent
Fame
Case
Number
Deep
Celebrities
More quotes by Bill Maher
Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
Bill Maher
France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?
Bill Maher
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.
Bill Maher
People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.
Bill Maher
Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge.
Bill Maher
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
Treason is when legislators vote against homeland security measures because it goes against the wishes of their political or financial backers. Treason is the fact that, as a terrorist, you could still buy a gun in this country because the NRA lobby is so strong.
Bill Maher
Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.
Bill Maher
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
Bill Maher
Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.
Bill Maher
You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is a little more complicated. I have never done heroin. I would never recommend heroin, but it hasn't hurt my record collection.
Bill Maher
Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card.
Bill Maher
Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.'
Bill Maher
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
Bill Maher