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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Neurological
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Agnostic
Religion
Initiative
Faith
Disorder
Funny
Planes
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Atheist
Thinking
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Atheism
More quotes by Bill Maher
New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.
Bill Maher
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?
Bill Maher
We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.
Bill Maher
Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
Bill Maher
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
Bill Maher
Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
Bill Maher
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.
Bill Maher
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
When we make mistakes they call it evil
Bill Maher
To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
Bill Maher
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
Bill Maher
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.
Bill Maher
Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.
Bill Maher
Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?
Bill Maher
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
Bill Maher
When the tabloids photograph me when I'm out, I always say: You know what, folks? I'm not married and I'm not gay. You caught me with a hot chick. You got me. Take me to hot-chick jail. Did it again. Guilty.
Bill Maher
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
Bill Maher
