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Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Loyal
Witty
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Comedy
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Men
More quotes by Bill Maher
Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!
Bill Maher
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
Bill Maher
New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
Bill Maher
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.
Bill Maher
I'd just like to know what a cop WOULD have to do to get indicted - and what good are cop cameras since Eric Garner IS on tape?
Bill Maher
Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
Bill Maher
What is Kanye West's message? Like most rap, I am the greatest person ever and you're not. I used to call it affirmative action for the ego.
Bill Maher
There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill Maher
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven - that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.
Bill Maher
So when I say we had been the cowards, yes, that's what I meant, we as a society. And that's everybody, including myself. I had been screaming about the drug war and this war and other wars. I should have been more on terrorism, too. So should you, so should everybody.
Bill Maher
In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
Bill Maher
We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'
Bill Maher
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Bill Maher
New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
Bill Maher
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Bill Maher
If you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it's kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in the talking snake.
Bill Maher
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.
Bill Maher
Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People don't think it's necessary to legalize it, because it's so easy to get it.
Bill Maher
Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
Bill Maher
