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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Witty
Humorous
Sin
Disease
Funny
Used
Everything

More quotes by Bill Maher

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The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle. It's like Satan's VIP list for Hell.
Bill Maher
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Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.
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Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it
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Religion is bad and drugs are good.
Bill Maher
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Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.
Bill Maher
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The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary, because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.
Bill Maher
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Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher
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The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names, like Moonbeam, and Trig.
Bill Maher
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Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?
Bill Maher
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When consumers know things, they tend to make informed choices, and that could affect corporate profits. I'm sorry, but your right to know is always going to be outweighed by their right to hide it from you.
Bill Maher
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New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
Bill Maher
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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
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I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.
Bill Maher
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The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
Bill Maher
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New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.
Bill Maher
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I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don't really care if any of them gets shot.
Bill Maher
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When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.
Bill Maher
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Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.
Bill Maher
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
Bill Maher
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.
Bill Maher