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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Start
Getting
Cannot
Women
Complain
Better
Complaining
Men
Anymore
Taste
Relationship
More quotes by Bill Maher
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it came down to Prozak versus Marijuana, Prozak would lose.
Bill Maher
Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham.
Bill Maher
You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood.
Bill Maher
Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.
Bill Maher
When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.
Bill Maher
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign.
Bill Maher
Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
Bill Maher
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!
Bill Maher
Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.
Bill Maher
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher
One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.
Bill Maher
New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
Bill Maher
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.
Bill Maher
A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
Bill Maher
This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
Bill Maher
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.
Bill Maher
To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'
Bill Maher
This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?
Bill Maher
