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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Taste
Relationship
Start
Getting
Cannot
Women
Complain
Better
Complaining
Men
Anymore
More quotes by Bill Maher
Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher
In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
Bill Maher
A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
Bill Maher
Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion that Jack built a beanstalk today, you would know the difference? Why do you believe in one fairy tale and not the other? Just because adults told you it was true and they scared you into believing it, at pain of death, at pain of burning in hell.
Bill Maher
Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
Bill Maher
I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
Bill Maher
There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill Maher
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.
Bill Maher
You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.
Bill Maher
Religion is bad and drugs are good.
Bill Maher
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher
You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood.
Bill Maher
Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.
Bill Maher
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
Bill Maher
George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
Bill Maher
F. Scott Fitzgerald has an indespensible quote: 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at once and still retain the ability to function'. Or, as I like to call it, 'O.J. killed his wife, and the police are corrupt.'
Bill Maher
This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?
Bill Maher