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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Hard
Cigarette
Real
Quit
Made
Quitting
Every
Smoking
Good
Shut
Moistened
Like
Jesus
Claudia
Looks
Pussy
Right
Rolled
More quotes by Bill Hicks
Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks