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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Right
Rolled
Hard
Cigarette
Real
Quit
Made
Quitting
Every
Smoking
Good
Shut
Moistened
Like
Jesus
Claudia
Looks
Pussy
More quotes by Bill Hicks
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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I am available for children's parties, by the way.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
Bill Hicks
It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Bill Hicks
I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
Bill Hicks
We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
Bill Hicks
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks
What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
Bill Hicks
I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
Bill Hicks
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
Bill Hicks