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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Real
Quit
Made
Quitting
Every
Smoking
Good
Shut
Moistened
Like
Jesus
Claudia
Looks
Pussy
Right
Rolled
Hard
Cigarette
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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