Quote

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Every
Smoking
Good
Shut
Moistened
Like
Jesus
Claudia
Looks
Pussy
Right
Rolled
Hard
Cigarette
Real
Quit
Made
Quitting

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
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