Quote

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Made
Quitting
Every
Smoking
Moistened
Good
Shut
Claudia
Like
Jesus
Pussy
Looks
Rolled
Right
Cigarette
Hard
Real
Quit

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
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People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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