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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
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Boys
Bulbs
Didn
Screwed
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Bumps
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Electric
Lightbulb
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
Bill Hicks
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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I've said all that I've had to say.
Bill Hicks
...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
Bill Hicks