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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Conservatives
Polls
Vote
Percent
Disapprove
Jobs
Parlor
Take
Poll
Many
Seventy
People
Seventies

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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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I've said all that I've had to say.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.
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I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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