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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Women
Trials
Proposals
Firsts
Letters
Courtroom
First
Kings
Packed
Giving
Meet
Enters
Trying
Getting
Proposal
Mind
Wrong
Trial
Love
Thought
Wedding
Fucking
Give
Laid
Bundy

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
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It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
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