Quote

A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Another
Rounds
Back
Cross
Ever
Crosses
Think
Wear
Thinking
Wants
Lotta
Jesus
Necks
Christian
Christians
Comes
Round

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
Image
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
Bill Hicks
Image
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
Image
Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
Image
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
Image
In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
Bill Hicks
Image
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks
Image
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
Image
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks
Image
How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
Bill Hicks
Image
What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
Image
No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Bill Hicks
Image
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
Image
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
Bill Hicks
Image
Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
Bill Hicks
Image
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
Bill Hicks
Image
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
Bill Hicks