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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Humans
Dinosaur
Make
Dinosaurs
Think
Fossils
Thinking
Placed
World
Older
Rocks
Beings
Prankster
Human
Pranksters
More quotes by Bill Hicks
We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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I am available for children's parties, by the way.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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