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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
World
Older
Rocks
Beings
Prankster
Human
Pranksters
Humans
Dinosaur
Make
Dinosaurs
Think
Fossils
Thinking
Placed

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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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