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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Food
Missed
Wonderful
Ass
Wrong
Meeting
Come
Meetings
Miracle
Turd
Sex
Turds
Eating
Veneration
Coming
Childbirth

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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
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No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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