Quote

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Sex
Turds
Eating
Veneration
Coming
Childbirth
Food
Missed
Wonderful
Ass
Wrong
Meeting
Come
Meetings
Miracle
Turd

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks
Image
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
Image
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks
Image
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
Bill Hicks
Image
Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
Bill Hicks
Image
We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
Bill Hicks
Image
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
Bill Hicks
Image
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
Image
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
Image
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks
Image
You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
Image
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Bill Hicks
Image
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
Bill Hicks
Image
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
Bill Hicks
Image
Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
Image
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Bill Hicks
Image
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
Bill Hicks
Image
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Bill Hicks
Image
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
Bill Hicks
Image
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks