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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Laid
Getting
Wrong

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I've said all that I've had to say.
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
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