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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Running
Away
Keep
Proselytize
Would
Wanna
Meet
Talk
Christian
Wish

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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
Bill Hicks
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
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People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
Bill Hicks
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
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