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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Theory
Great
Like
People
Misanthropic
Humanist

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
Bill Hicks
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
Bill Hicks
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
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How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
Bill Hicks
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
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Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Bill Hicks
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
Bill Hicks
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks