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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Misanthropic
Humanist
Theory
Great
Like
People

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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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