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It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Dying
Gadgets
Waiting
Tents
Nothing
Screwed
People
Oxygen
Neat
Lungs
Sorts
Lung
Iron
Tent

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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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