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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Woke
Lincoln
Story
Jesus
Stories
Mummy
Today
Drawer
Drawers
Sock
More quotes by Bill Hicks
You are the imagination of yourself.
Bill Hicks
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
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All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
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A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
Bill Hicks
I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks
It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
Bill Hicks
If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
Bill Hicks
I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
Bill Hicks
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Bill Hicks
I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
