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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Political
Human
Humans
Ring
Book
Hats
Phone
Rings
Phones
Till
More quotes by Bill Hicks
In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
Bill Hicks
No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
Bill Hicks
I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
Bill Hicks
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
Bill Hicks
I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks
I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
Bill Hicks
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
Bill Hicks
Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
Bill Hicks
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
Bill Hicks
Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks
I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
Bill Hicks
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
Bill Hicks