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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Book
Hats
Phone
Rings
Phones
Till
Political
Human
Humans
Ring
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
Bill Hicks
No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
Bill Hicks
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
Bill Hicks
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
Bill Hicks
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
Bill Hicks
I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
Bill Hicks
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
Bill Hicks
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
Bill Hicks
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
Bill Hicks
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Bill Hicks
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
Bill Hicks
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Bill Hicks
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
Bill Hicks
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
Bill Hicks
