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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Humans
Ring
Book
Hats
Phone
Rings
Phones
Till
Political
Human
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
Bill Hicks
The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
Bill Hicks
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks
If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
Bill Hicks
When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
Bill Hicks
The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
Bill Hicks
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
Bill Hicks
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
Bill Hicks
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
Bill Hicks
What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
Bill Hicks
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
Bill Hicks
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
Bill Hicks
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
Bill Hicks