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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Phones
Till
Political
Human
Humans
Ring
Book
Hats
Phone
Rings

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
Bill Hicks
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
Bill Hicks
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
Bill Hicks
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
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Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Bill Hicks
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
Bill Hicks
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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Bill Hicks
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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
Bill Hicks
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
Bill Hicks
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
Bill Hicks
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
Bill Hicks
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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Bill Hicks
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
Bill Hicks