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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Jerks
Chicks
Jerk
Sure
Thing
More quotes by Bill Hicks
It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Bill Hicks
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
Bill Hicks
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Bill Hicks
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
Bill Hicks
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
Bill Hicks
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
Bill Hicks
I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
Bill Hicks
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
Bill Hicks
So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
Bill Hicks
It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Bill Hicks
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
Bill Hicks
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
Bill Hicks