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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Sure
Thing
Jerks
Chicks
Jerk

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
Bill Hicks
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
Bill Hicks
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Bill Hicks
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
Bill Hicks
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
Bill Hicks
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
Bill Hicks
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.
Bill Hicks
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
Bill Hicks
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks
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The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
Bill Hicks
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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
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It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Bill Hicks
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
Bill Hicks
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I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
Bill Hicks
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
Bill Hicks
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All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
Bill Hicks
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Bill Hicks