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I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Children
Way
Parties
Available
Party
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Bill Hicks
What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
Bill Hicks
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
Bill Hicks
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
Bill Hicks
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks
It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
Bill Hicks
In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
Bill Hicks
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
Bill Hicks
No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Bill Hicks
Don't worry don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Bill Hicks
You are the imagination of yourself.
Bill Hicks
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.
Bill Hicks
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
Bill Hicks
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks