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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Pick
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Please
Land
Might
Would
Aliens

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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
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I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
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It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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