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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Aliens
Pick
Picks
Please
Land
Might
Would

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
Bill Hicks
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
Bill Hicks
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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
Bill Hicks
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I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
Bill Hicks
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
Bill Hicks
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
Bill Hicks
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Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
Bill Hicks
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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
Bill Hicks
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
Bill Hicks
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
Bill Hicks
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
Bill Hicks
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
Bill Hicks
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
Bill Hicks
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
Bill Hicks
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I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
Bill Hicks