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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Would
Aliens
Pick
Picks
Please
Land
Might

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not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill Hicks