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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Might
Would
Aliens
Pick
Picks
Please
Land

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
Bill Hicks