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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Hey
Holding
Beliefs
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Guy
Puppet
Belief
Shares
Left
Puppets
Right
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More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
Bill Hicks
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
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To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
Bill Hicks
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
Bill Hicks
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Bill Hicks
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What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Bill Hicks
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
Bill Hicks
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
Bill Hicks
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Bill Hicks
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
Bill Hicks
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
Bill Hicks
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
Bill Hicks
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The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
Bill Hicks
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
Bill Hicks