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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Holding
Beliefs
Share
Guy
Puppet
Belief
Shares
Left
Puppets
Right
Liking
Hey

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks
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Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Bill Hicks
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
Bill Hicks
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
Bill Hicks
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I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
Bill Hicks
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
Bill Hicks
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I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
Bill Hicks
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
Bill Hicks