Quote

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Hey
Holding
Beliefs
Share
Guy
Puppet
Belief
Shares
Left
Puppets
Right
Liking

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
Bill Hicks
Image
Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
Bill Hicks
Image
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
Bill Hicks
Image
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
Image
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
Image
It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.
Bill Hicks
Image
I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
Bill Hicks
Image
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
Bill Hicks
Image
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
Image
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
Image
Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
Bill Hicks
Image
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
Image
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
Bill Hicks
Image
I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
Image
People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
Bill Hicks
Image
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
Bill Hicks
Image
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.
Bill Hicks
Image
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Bill Hicks
Image
I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
Bill Hicks
Image
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Bill Hicks