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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Heart
Cancer
Determined
Rednecks
Disease
Seniority
General
Surgeon
Cause
Surgeons
Ought
Redneck
Causes
Warning
Read
Smoking
More quotes by Bill Hicks
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
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So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
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I've said all that I've had to say.
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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