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So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Imagination
Ever
Stretch
Like
Whatsoever
Scary
Threat
Iraq
Watching
News

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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
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I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
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