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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Grows
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Giggle
Love
Mushrooms
Think
Cows
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Grow
More quotes by Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
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It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth. ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, Lung Cancer.
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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