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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Firsts
Turds
First
Giggle
Mushrooms
Love
Cows
Think
Hour
Thinking
Grow
Grows
Hours

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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
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Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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