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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Hours
Firsts
Turds
First
Giggle
Love
Mushrooms
Think
Cows
Thinking
Hour
Grow
Grows

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
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So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
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I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!
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Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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