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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
First
Giggle
Love
Mushrooms
Think
Cows
Thinking
Hour
Grow
Grows
Hours
Firsts
Turds

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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
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I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
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I've said all that I've had to say.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
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I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
Bill Hicks