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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Bill Hicks
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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Sticks
Available
Rocks
Wane
Party
Warring
Cleansing
Ethnic
Parties
Enthusiasm
More quotes by Bill Hicks
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Bill Hicks
This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
Bill Hicks
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks
I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
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You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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