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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Enthusiasm
Sticks
Available
Rocks
Wane
Party
Warring
Cleansing
Ethnic
Parties

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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
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Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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