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I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Parties
Enthusiasm
Sticks
Available
Rocks
Wane
Party
Warring
Cleansing
Ethnic

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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
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Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
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When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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