Quote

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Museums
Accurate
Texas
Cause
Causes
Oswald
Really
Dallas
Assassination
Museum

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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
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No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.
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Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
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This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
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I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
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I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.
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Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
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I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
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Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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