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I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Museum
Museums
Accurate
Texas
Cause
Causes
Oswald
Really
Dallas
Assassination

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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I've said all that I've had to say.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
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Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
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I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
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All governments are lying cocksuckers.
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
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How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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