Quote

I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.

Bill Hicks

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Ends
Drinker
Thought
Drinkers
Controlling
Friday
Saturday
Weekend
Drink
Start

More quotes by Bill Hicks

Image
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, I did it! Hey!
Bill Hicks
Image
It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
Bill Hicks
Image
We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
Bill Hicks
Image
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
Bill Hicks
Image
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Bill Hicks
Image
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks
Image
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
Bill Hicks
Image
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
Bill Hicks
Image
I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
Bill Hicks
Image
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
Bill Hicks
Image
I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.
Bill Hicks
Image
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
Bill Hicks
Image
It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
Bill Hicks
Image
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
Bill Hicks
Image
While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
Bill Hicks
Image
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
Bill Hicks
Image
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Bill Hicks
Image
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Bill Hicks
Image
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill Hicks
Image
And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks