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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Bigs
Scum
Used
Bye
Love
Background
Backgrounds
York
Lived
Hear
Lizard
Call
Lizards

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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
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Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
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I am available for children's parties, by the way.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
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I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
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We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
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In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
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