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I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

Bill Hicks

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Bill Hicks
Age: 32 †
Born: 1961
Born: December 16
Died: 1994
Died: February 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Musician
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Valdosta
Georgia
William Melvin Hicks
Anything
Human
Humans
Really
Tasteful
Incredibly
Along
Maybe

More quotes by Bill Hicks

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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
Bill Hicks
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
Bill Hicks
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The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.
Bill Hicks
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The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
Bill Hicks
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
Bill Hicks
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What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
Bill Hicks
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
Bill Hicks
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
Bill Hicks
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I am available for children's parties, by the way.
Bill Hicks
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
Bill Hicks
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I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'
Bill Hicks
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
Bill Hicks
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Bill Hicks
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Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
Bill Hicks
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.
Bill Hicks
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The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
Bill Hicks
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Bill Hicks
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I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
Bill Hicks
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Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
Bill Hicks
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
Bill Hicks